There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.
I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele
So I’m staying with a family friend while my parents are up north at a wedding, and she’s slightly intoxicated, so now she’s on the couch venting her life story to me while I sit on my computer and act like I’m listening.